forgiveness.

This topic comes up so much in my life.  I never really thought I was a forgiving person, but really it is my desire to forgive, whenever forgiveness is needed.  I am surprisingly able to let the past go with little effort.  I guess that's part of being a child of God.  I know God wants us to forgive.  I have posted many things in the past about  this very same subject.  Most of all tonight, on my mind, is the guy who raised me.  Ken.  I haven't heard from him since Collin was in the hospital.  He said some terrible things about me to my aunt and then didn't even call me after my son died.  I don't need to go on about the many reasons I'm justified in not speaking to him.  I may not always be innocent in conflict, but in this case, I did nothing to provoke his behavior.  I felt abandoned and betrayed.  It's been 4 years and I have given it little thought.  I figured he didn't want to be a part of my life anymore so why try.  Recently I found out he is sick.  I don't know many details, but I know enough so say I am not willing to let him die without ever seeing him again.  Am I still angry with him?  Sure, but not to the point where I want to spit in his face, or call him bad names.  God has a way of softening my heart and preparing me for something I may have once thought impossible.  I came really close to just going to see him today.  I on my way to the church after some shopping with a friend and realized I was going to be driving past the road that would take me right to my Grandma's trailer, where I believe Ken is staying.  I drove by and there were no cars in the driveway, I don't know if I would have stopped if there was but now I know I can't keep putting it off.  I'll be praying that his heart will be prepared for me to be there, and I'm not sure yet if I'm going to take Allie with me or not, or when I'll go, or if I need my mom to go with me.  I haven't worked all that out.  I can say too that I am very thankful for grace when it comes to myself, so I hope that I can show the same to others that I need as well.
Well, thanks for reading.  :)