Am I my husband’s best friend?

This is my beloved and this is my friend (SOS 5:16)

Sunday the 19th, I walked into the church and headed toward the Childen’s ministry area, but on my way I could hear Pastor Marty, sharing his message and was reminded that he’s starting his series on marriage and relationships.  This is something I never leave the subject without feeling convicted about something.  So after serving in a very hectic, very rambunctious hang out room with 20 kids and only 2 of us to watch them, I was ready to sit down for service.  I was pretty surprised when the service started with the video of Jeff Bethke and his spoken word called Sex, Marriage and Fairytales, inspired by Mark and Grace Driscol’s book called Real Marriage, which I just began reading. (view the video here) This week he continued that message by going even further into the importance of being your spouse’s best friend.  It’s easy to say “sure he’s my best friend; he’s been around me for the last 7 years almost every single day”.  Isn’t that what it takes to bff’s?  Put up with each other every day, no matter what.  Not only is it false, but at times I have feel more of an enemy than a friend.  I’ve shared a little about my struggle as a wife in a previous post (Our Move to Florida).  I can honestly say that as much as I believe in the power of all the key principles to having a Godly marriage, and as much as I always wanted that for my marriage, I have spent the last 5 years damaging my marriage far more than I’ve built it up.  A while ago I was riding in the car with Sara after listening to her explain the concept that in a struggling marriage, it takes one person who is willing to put up with the other to keep the marriage from just falling apart (well that’s the short version anyway).  I had always had the perspective of myself as the one who had been putting up with Steve, but in that moment God made it clear to me and I realized that Steve was in fact, the one putting up with me.  In the months since then, I been trying to shift my perspective toward my husband and I’ve began to desire to make changes that are needed to repair the damage.  I won’t lie, there have been times in the last 6 months that I have completely retracted  and time that I have failed in my efforts (which is exactly why it failed – because it’s my efforts when I should be relying on God to work in His timing).  Sometimes living in the moment it’s hard to see how far we’ve come.  I forget that a year ago things were a little different.  I want to be clear that I do still make mistakes, daily even.   It’s definitely God’s timing that he began this work in our marriage at the time he did.  Moving thousands of miles away from where we are comfortable, putting us in a church that is just starting a marriage series, we are going to a small group teaching Love and Respect and I’ve had almost daily reminders about the importance of following God’s plans for marriage from other various outside sources.  All coming together in God’s perfect timing to refine our marriage and draw us closer to Him.