Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is too high, I cannot attain to it. (Psalm 139:6)
This dare has taken 2 days to pull off. The chapter started off by talking about each child's unique nature and how God makes everyone individually. "God is always intentional as to why He makes each child the way He does. He desires His power, creativity, and image to be uniquely reflected in each living soul." As I read that, I began to question how that pertains to circumstances like aspergers or other things in this world that alter God's perfect design for people before the fall. Is it that God made that child that way, did he specifically give Jordan these quirks? did he forget to attach a diaphragm when he was knitting Collin together in my womb? Or is it that this world is full of sin and all that comes with it, and that is why we face the things in this world that are not a part of God's perfect design. As I continued reading, the book mentions just that concern. "Even in His allowance of unexpected birth defects. His conclusions are kind (John 9:1-3). His strength is often revealed most vividly through human weakness, cultivating deeper character and compassion in their families." I do see that despite the fact that the human condition is less than perfect, God does allow these things in our lives. He allowed Collin's defect as a means for a greater purpose for us, and we not only accept that, but thank Him for it. He allowed Jordan's brain to age with these quirks and ticks and truly, he's still a masterpiece, perfect in God's eyes and mine, despite what people may think about aspergers, ADHD, or any other disorder that makes someone "different". I was reflecting last night about how amazing Jordan truly is because of some of the challenges he has. His obsessive tendencies have made him incredibly smart and talented. He's excelled in music with playing the flute; The challenge of Tae Kwon Do has kept him continually grasping for the next level of achievement. His need for routine helps him to stay committed to the things that must be done. How many kids do you know that strive to not only never miss a day of school, but also to never be tardy? That's pretty incredible in my opinion (and I don't believe I think so only because I'm biased). He's truly made exactly the way God intended him to be, and when I falter in my thinking of that, it is only because there is something wrong with my thinking, not the way Jordan was made.
Jordan getting his next belt certificate at Tae Kwon Do in November. I think he's since moved forward again too.
So on to the dare portion of the 5th dare. They said to find out what your child's love language is and show them love in that way at some point throughout the day. Well at first I asked my mom to do the assessment herself, since she'd probably be able to assume the answer to most of the questions, how he would respond himself. After a few hours, I found out she was working and hadn't been able to do it yet. So, I text Jordan with the link to the test asking him if he'd be willing to do it, but mentioned that he did not have to do it. He didn't respond so after waiting a few more hours, I asked my mom again to do the assessment, hoping she'd ask him the questions and get his answers directly. That is exactly what she did and his results were a little surprising but mostly made sense. His top love language, he scored an 8, is Words of Affirmation. His secondary love language is Quality Time with a 6, and close behind is Acts of Service with 5. Physical Touch he scored a 0, which wasn't surprising at all. But he only scored a 1 on gifts, which was surprising for me. I had always thought he was a gifts love language, he always seems really happy to receive gifts. My mom wasn't surprised by that at all. I guess I had just always been wrong about that. Which is exactly why I needed him to do the Love Language assessment. I'm so glad I have a better understanding of his love language now. The next part of the dare was to show Jordan love in his own love language sometime during the day. I decided that since most of the dares had already had me exercising his top love language (Words of Affirmation) that I would like to do something in one of the next 2 of his top 3. I came up with a few ideas with the help of my friends pointing out ways that I could enlist my mom as my proxy to help with some things. I asked my mom what her plans were for the rest of the night and didn't see any opportunities with that so I asked what their Sunday plans were. It gave me a couple ideas and I asked her to pick of the things I was thinking of to do in my place and tell Jordan that I had asked her to do it. She must have been busy or didn't have an answer for me because she didn't respond. Today as I was going over the chapter again and writing in the journaling portion, I realized that she had already done it. When she sat down with him to do the assessment, he knew that was for me. She was spending quality time with him as my proxy and it may have even communicated acts of service if he was able to catch on that I was seeking ways to show him love better.
My prayer for Jordan today is this:
Lord, I pray that you will help Jordan to see this exercise as a genuine effort on my part to love him better and grow closer to him in a way that glorifies you. Help Jordan to grow closer in his relationships and show love in other people's love languages as well, as challenging as that may be for him. Be with him today as he gets ready to go back to school after spring break and bless him during his time at the movie with his grandma. Thank you Lord, for his uniqueness and that he isn't like all the other kids his age. Thank you that you gave him such passion for music and a drive to succeed when challenged. All those things that I love about him, I pray You will grow them into something he can better use to glorify you with his days on this earth.
"They are wrapped by divine hands and presented in love. They are the fruit of your life and God's living reward".
Here I am with the children God gave me (Hebrews 2:13).
If any of you are interested in doing the Love Language assessments yourself or having your children do them, just go this link. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/
you click "get started" and then select who the assessment is for: yourself or your child.
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